Just to Let you know.

Ps-- Everything happens for a reason.

Believe me I know this to be 100% true.

Things happen suddenly.

And just before you know it you're happy again.

Coming to Terms.

i suppose i will never be apart of them.

i will just have to get used to that.

Kisses.

his hands are on her face and he touches her face with such passion...he kisses her.
the most intimate thing in the whole world.

mmm..a kiss. such an expression of immense emotions of love.

people kissing is the most amazing thing in the whole world. when two people kiss the world is put on pause. and everything becomes quiet. people may be kissing with there eyes closed or open but either is great.

*open eyes...you see the other persons expressions and passion put into the kiss.*
*closed...you are focused completley on the kiss not worrying about anything else but that kiss.*

but just recently...

whenever i watch movies and i see people kiss it makes me cry...and i really hate that.
it didn't used to be like that.

i hate it.

i'm slipping and the only one to pick me up is you. I'm holding on by one thread.

I'm jumping and i hope to god that i can fly.

because otherwise i will drop to the bottom like a rock; and on my way down i am

wondering "why the hell am i jumping?" but i am falling.

and the only one that makes me feel like i can fly...

is you.

help me up because without you i am falling to the bottom.

you are the one who picks me up when i fall and you arn't there.

come fast...

because i'm sinking quickly.

Happy Tears...

He always pretends that i'm a gross girl and he doesn't like me cause i might have cooties. Its one of those stages you go through when your little.

I was looking out the window having kind of weird day ((sad for no reason)), and i looked over

and he held her hand and wrapped his arm around her i almost cried.

Me being preoccupied by something outside of the cab, i didn't realize that he

took my hand too and squeezed it so tight, well that was enough to bring tears to my eyes.

Its almost like he knew something was wrong. He's amazing.

later that day..

It was a bit of a different setting, the airport. Now I am a people watcher to begin with ((and a bit of an eaves dropper.)) I saw this couple and they looked like they were waiting for someone.

Well I was right but, they weren't just waiting for someone they were waiting

for two someones ((their little girls.)) I watched them wait there with anticipation in their eyes; that brought a smile to my face. About 20 minutes after I first saw the couple, they arrived.

Their beautiful blond hair, blued eyed girls arrived. One of them greeted her dad with a "Daddy!" and she jumped into his arms, as if she would never let go.

This brought tears to my eyes.

Things like this make me think. Kids are so innocent and they have such a different perspective on things. I think everyone should take life one step at a time. Don't rush things because if you rush things you might miss something. Everyday counts. And everything happens for a reason.

Dreaming Of You...

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up and think of you
And I wish on a star that somewhere you are
Thinking of me too

Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow
I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming about you and me

Wonder if you ever see me
And I wonder if you know
I'm there
If you looked in my eyes
Would you see what's inside
Would you even care?

I just wanna hold you close
But so far all I have a dreams of you
So I wait for the day
And the courage to say how much I love you
Yes I do.

I dream of you although I don't know who you are yet. I'll find you, I have hope. But late at night when I know all the world is sleeping, I'm wide awake thinking of you ((or what i hope you will be.)) Someone great; thats what you'll be. But, I'm not going to make any quick movements. For now I will just dream of what you will be, I don't need you yet. I need some time to clear my head. So right now I will dream, just dream. Because I have high hopes for you. I believe in everything that you will be.

what happened...

the other day i was ready to start the new me but everything thing is piling up. this slightly contradicts my earlier blog..but i need to vent.

one) I feel seperated, unwelcome, and upset about us. i'm not involved in things you do and

it honestly makes me feel like shit.

two) he likes her. and he doesnt think i'll find out. wow.

three) my fucking mouth hurts.

four) my mom is out of town so i have no one to talk to.

sorry had to vent.

the new me...

I sit and think for a while about things that have happened in my life. So many amazing things have happened, and some not so amazing things have happened. Now when these "not so amazing things" would happen i would let it alter my whole life; people could see that everything wasnt "ok". Some people may think that this means that i am looking for some attention but thats not it at all, i am just the kind of person who gets effected very easily by certain things. ((some people may call this sensitive, but i call it "easily effected"))

Recently something has happened to me. I lost one of my best friends in the whole world. He lit up everyday, he made me feel special. But as people say all good things must come to an end. Which to be bluntly honest, sucks. I miss him and i hope he knows that ((i'm not going to pretend to be a hardass because we all know i'm not.)) But i'm not gonna be that person anymore. The one who gets walked on by other people. I know now i deserve way more then that. Knowing that i deserve better leaves me hopeful for the future.

Someone once told me "patience is a virtue" or in her real words "patience, baby."
Easier said then done. But i have learned that if your patient, things come to you. So i will be patient.

So...this is the new me. Effected but uneffceted, respected, hopeful, and patient.

I think I am going to like this.